Today I got my DVD of Michael Jackson’s “Ghost” in the mail, along with the DVD “Moonwalker”. I have been buying Michael’s stuff like crazy…I just can’t get enough of the man. Every time I get something of his in the mail, I literally jump up and down in excitement. Watching his DVD’s are like a big event. I make a special meal for me and Lyss…we turn out the lights, pull the TV up close, crank up the volume and enjoy the show. Every short film and concert I watch of his, I can’t help but smile ear to ear the entire time, do a little jig in excitement and love for the music, shed tears in awe – wishing I had been there, and clap my hands when it’s over. You can always count on me shouting things like “YEAH, MAN!” and “OH MY GOD HE IS AMAZING!!!” as well. :P
Ghosts was SO much fun to watch today. Me and Lyss both absolutely LOVE the music video for this, and so the short film was a total treat. Moonwalker wasn’t a fave as far as how it was compiled…but gave me some new footage to look at that I had never seen before; like the full short film version of “Smooth Criminal”. It was fun to watch, but the ending really got to me. It was when Michael had turned into some kind of spaceship (lol) and flies off in the distance, leaving behind his children friends. The little girl starts crying because Michael was leaving her and not coming back. As the scene switches to the kids sitting alone on the sidewalk, just missing him…Michael suddenly shows up through the fog…and they start shouting in joy “you came back! you came back!” and they run over to give him a huge hug. It was a happy ending that I couldn’t help but cry during. :’( In that moment I wished I was that little girl, taking a sigh of relief…as I was reunited with my best friend.
Yeah, I’m a sap when it comes to Michael. It just hit me like a pile of bricks – as I was reminded of the reality that no longer has Michael in it…and he’s not coming back. I just want to scream at the heavens “COME BACK, MICHAEL!” and have him show up, as if it were all a bad dream.
Even though I never met Michael, and really never knew much about his true spirit until his passing – I am just so deeply saddened that he is no longer here on Earth. In coming to know him, my spirit has connected to every piece of his music, his spirit, his mission, his love…everything he stood for. I have the greatest regret in my heart for never getting to know him until recently. But even so, it feels like I’ve known him my whole life. It feels like he was always a part of me, I just didn’t know it. And now that he’s gone…the world almost seems empty without him. I have grieved for this man, as if he were family. I am truly grateful for what he left behind though. Not only his amazing, jaw dropping, and inspiring music and videos that will forever be enjoyed by millions of people – but his message of love and peace. It’s a little funny, I guess…to think that I could be sad for losing someone who’s passing made them truly present in my life for the first time. He’s never been more alive to me now, really. I cannot tell you how much joy his music brings me, and how much he has inspired me to be a better person. I carry Michael with me everyday in my actions. He has truly awakened the best parts of myself that I had sort of lost over the years. He brings out joy, excitement, innocence and unconditional love in my life. I am truly grateful and lifted up by him, I really am. Every now and then I just get those moments when I wish that his physical self was here, as he feels like a best friend…like family. I wish I could just see him. See him helping others, making new music, going to concerts…and just know he’s happy. That man had so much more to offer this planet…he really did leave too soon. I do know his spirit lives on though, and that what he accomplished here in the flesh…will continue to inspire and change our world. It sure is changing mine.
So I guess I’ll end this post with a big THANK YOU to Michael Jackson. Thank you for sharing your life, and enriching mine in the best ways possible. Love you, brother.
~Amy Grace
